This story is mature.
They sat on the limousine in silent. Yuuto had no idea how much time had passed. But he didn’t complain nor said anything. All the teacher did was grab Seiji-kun’ hand gently. It would be great if this could help him a little, he thought, holding the hand with both his own.
At some point Seiji-kun squeezed it back without turning his head, his eyes glued to the window. They couldn’t see from here, but Yuuto knew what the artist saw. Ever since the car had parked, the former student stared out the window, his face unreadable.
“I have to go,” he whispered, more to himself than to Yuuto.
“Yes,” Yuuto said in a low voice. “But you can take your time. I’ll be here for you.”
Seiji-kun brought the teacher’s hands closer to his mouth and kissed it. “Thank you.”
Yuuto widened his eyes sightly for a heartbeat. The next second, a gentle smile appeared on his lips and he rested his head on Seiji-kun’ shoulder, closing his eyes. The former student stroke the teacher’s hand with his thumb slowly.
Seiji-kun’ free hand grabbed the door handle, but it didn’t do anything else after that. Yuuto only watched as the man he loved took deep breaths, his face still trying to keep the empty expression. But the eyes that mesmerized Yuuto eyes betrayed their owner, and the teacher knew the whirl of emotions behind them.
They ended up talking almost all night long and Seiji-kun poured his heart to Yuuto. He cried and talked about his grandfather, he cried and said he was broken, and he cried and begged forgiveness for hurting Yuuto. When he was calm enough, he spend the rest of the night telling stories about his grandfather, the memories always making him go between laughing and crying.
All Yuuto did was listen, laughing at the right times and hugging Seiji-kun on the others. Is this the only thing I can do to help him? He asked himself then and was asking himself again on the limo, the pang in his heart growing. Yuuto knew the artist needed to open the door and face reality. But he has to do this on his own. The teacher knew how hard it. After this, Seiji-kun would have to live in a world without his beloved grandfather. At least for that I can be by his side.
Seiji-kun held his breath and finally opened the door, staring the graves stretching as far as they could see. His eyes going from empty to watery before he stepped out of the car. The teacher went after him and before Yuuto realized it, he grabbed Seiji-kun’ arm. The artist turned to him, his lips trembling.
The teacher opened his mouth, looking for the right thing to say… and then he closed it. There were no right words. Though he had lost loved ones, he was too young to remember how people treated him. How can I say that everything will be fine? How can I say that things will get better with time? How can I tell him that the pain will grew smaller when I still miss my parents? All these thoughts crossed the teacher’s mind along with a pang stabbing him in the heart. The only thing I could do is be here for Seiji-kun.
The driver appeared at their side out of nowhere. “Akaishi-sama, here are the flowers.” He handed the huge flower bouquet with both hands, bowing slightly.
Thought it was only for a heartbeat, the driver’s eyes darted down to Yuuto’s hands, one grabbing Seiji-kun’ arm, the other holding the hand. If he had any feelings for seeing the two men holding hands however, his expression showed none of it.
He’s a great professional… The teacher breathed out slowly. That’s why I’d rather wear a dress, Yuuto thought as he looked down to see the black suit he wore. If it was for Seiji-kun, Yuuto didn’t mind cross-dressing outside cosplaying, even if it was for this occasion. But the man he loved was against it.
When Yuuto woke up, Seiji-kun wasn’t on the bed. He found the artist on the living room, leaning on the window ledge, watching the view. It was the first time the teacher saw him observing the city.
“I’ll go see him today,” he said when Yuuto walked to his side in silence. The teacher looked up, but the former student stared the city view as if he had never really seen it. “I need… I’d like you to come with me.”
A tiny smile appeared on Yuuto’s lip. He’s matured a bit. “I’ll be there with you,” he said in a low voice. “I need to get some clothes though.”
“No need. I already got you some.” For the first time in weeks, Yuuto saw a phantom of the smile he grew to love.
The teacher turned to the coffee table and saw a small box he hadn’t seen earlier. With a sigh, he picked it up, already expecting a dress. But when he saw the suit, Yuuto widened his eyes and turned back to Seiji-kun speachless.
“Hope it’s your size,” he said shrugging his shoulders. “Suit up.”
Yuuto breathed in slowly, choosing his words carefully. “Seiji-kun… Isn’t better if I cross-dress? I mean, if people see us together…”
“You’re slightly wrong. It would be easier, not better,” Seiji-kun said in a sudden stronger voice, He walked towards Yuuto, staring the teacher in the eyes. “We’re together now, so I want people to see us. I don’t want to hide our relationship.”
For a moment, Yuuto expression was blank, and then he smiled, his cheeks a slight shade of pink. “So you’re already saying we’re in a relationship,” he said teasingly.
Seiji-kun blushed and looked away. “I’d like to say yes… I mean, I like you… you like me…” he mumbled and trailed off. He took a deep breath and faced Yuuto. “You’re my boyfriend, and I’m yours,” he said, as if ending a discussion.
Yuuto smile grew and he wrapped his arms Seiji-kun. The artist returned the hug, and they stayed that way for a while.
“I’ll go change,” the teacher broke the hug and went to the bathroom.
It’s the first time I come here to change into a man’s clothes, he thought while changing, somewhat surprised by the fact. It took longer than it should, but when he was finally suited up, Yuuto stared his reflection. It looks… kinda cool, he admitted to himself. He was used to cute, and occasionally somewhat erotic, thanks to Seiji-kun, but never this. He turned around, seeing every side. Yeah, I definitely look cool, he thought with a smile. Except for this… he grabbed the tie. The knot was awful, but he hoped it was passable.
“You look… different,” Seiji-kun said when Yuuto got out of the bathroom.
“Is that a compliment?” Yuuto teased. Seiji-kun too had changed clothes, but the suit fitted him much better than did the teacher.
“It is,” he reassured, smiling a bit. “It looks good, it’s just that I’m used to seeing you…” Seiji-kun looked down and scratched his head.
“I know, I know.” Yuuto decided to end the teasing. “That’s why I think I should dress as a girl.” It was part true. Though he wanted to be by Seiji-kun’ side as he was normally, Yuuto worried about the stares they might receive. If you consider that he’s a son of a big family…
The artist flicked the teacher’s forehead gently. “Stop overthinking.”
Sighing and smiling at the same time, Yuuto decided to hear the man he loved. “Okay.”
Seiji-kun smiled too and then undid the knot on Yuuto’s tie. “You suck at this,” he said, straightening the black silk tie.
Yuuto blushed. “What you expected? My sister usually does this for me,” he said defensively. “This is my first time doing it,” he mumbled.
“Hmm…” His smile turned sly as he tied it around Yuuto’s neck. “But during our first time, you seemed very experienced.” Yuuto blushed even more and said nothing. “There,” Seiji-kun said when he finished.
It feels much better now, Yuuto thought, feeling it with his fingers. Not that lumpy knot I did… He turned his eyes to Seiji-kun, who was still smiling. “Come here.” He grabbed Seiji-kun’ shoulder and gave a little tug. The artist narrowed his eyes and bent over a little. Yuuto kissed him on the cheek. The artist widened his eyes and then his smile turned back to gentle
Seiji-kun had once again the blank expression on his face when they stood in front of the Akaishi family grave.
Yuuto held his gently; though he knew he should be there, the teacher looked away, giving Seiji-kun privacy. Never the trees and the flowers fascinated him more. Hey… there’s something familiar, he thought, looking around again. Ah… this cemetery, the teacher realized with a queer sensation on the back of his mind. It wasn’t just the Akaishi family grave; the Amane family grave was also here.
This is weird. Though his parents had died around this time, he and his sister always prayed with their grandparents during golden week every year. This year wasn’t any different. It was rare for them to visit the family grave. Now I’m here for Seiji-kun.
Seiji-kun squeezed Yuuto’s hand. “Gramps… I… I have no idea what so say.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I wished I had shown you another side of me,” he said to the grave. “I don’t know what I want to be, but I wanted you here to see.”
Yuuto felt a pang in his heart. Seiji-kun… He squeezed the hand back.
Seiji-kun cried quietly for a long time. When the tears finally stopped, he cleaned his face with the other hand, a few petals from the bouquet falling, and a sad smile appeared on his lips. “I also wanted to introduce you my boyfriend,” he said looking at Yuuto. The teacher widened his eyes for a second and then smiled too. “I wished you two had met. It was him who pose for that painting you liked it so much.”
“Wait, what was that?” Yuuto wanted to keep quiet the entire time, but the words slipped out of his mouth before the teacher could stop them.
“Didn’t I tell you?” he asked with a tiny, but definitely sly smile. “That first painting we did, I show it to grandpa and he actually became a little better. In a way, it was thanks to him that we got together.”
Yuuto had no words. After a few seconds, he sighed and then smiled. “Wait a minute,” the teacher said, trying to remember Seiji-kun’ words. “I thought I inspired you in more ways than I’d believe.”
The artist narrowed his eyes for a second. A second later, he widened them a bit. “What I said was excite, wasn’t it?”
Yuuto looked away. Seiji-kun was right. “I don’t remember exactly,” he trailed off.
“You’re a terrible liar.” He leaned in and kissed the teacher on the forehead. “It was true. But at the time I didn’t think it was because I was attracted to you.” Seiji-kun laughed and Yuuto did the same. Their voices echoed for a second before silence replace it. With a sigh, the artist looked down. “Goodbye, grandpa,” he said, the tears falling again. He took half the huge bouquet and placed it on the grave.
It was two bouquets, Yuuto thought mildly surprised for a second. He stared at it and finally saw all the flowers. Bluebell Daffodil, white chrysanthemum, sweet pea. He recognized them and tried remembering what they meant. Gratitude, respect, grief and goodbye. Yuuto did the best he could to hold the tears and rested his head on Seiji-kun’ arm when the artist stood up.
They stayed like that for some time.
“Let’s go,” Seiji-kun whispered at some point, his eyes still staring the grave. He turned around and led Yuuto.
The teacher thought they were heading back to the limo, but suddenly the artist went in the other direction. Yuuto looked up. He expected seeing a blank expression, or at least a sad one. Seiji-kun inhaled though his nose and exhaled through the mouth, sometimes biting his lips. It wasn’t what Yuuto expected. Is he… nervous? The teacher kept watching, trying to read the expression and actions.
Yuuto was still watching his face when the artist finally came to a halt, looking down at something. The teacher followed his eyes… and saw the Amane family grave. He faced Seiji-kun with his mouth slightly opened.
“Yuuka told me about your parents,” he said in a low voice. “I know you already made your prayers for them, but I’d like to pray as well.”
Yuuto still had his mouth opened… and then a tiny smile appeared on his lips. He hugged Seiji-kun and they both faced the grave.
“Hello,” Seiji-kun said, clearing his throat. “My name is Akaishi Seiji and I… huh… how can I say this? I really like your son and although we haven’t met, but I’d like to ask your permission to date him.” The artist bowed and the teacher tried holding his laugh, but he failed. Seiji-kun turned and smiled at Yuuto, a real and warm smile. “I promise to take care of him and make him pose with as many lewd clothes as possible.” Yuuto’s eyes widened. This time it was Seiji-kun whom laughed. When he stopped, he stare the grave, suddenly serious. “But above all I promise to make him happy.”
Yuuto blushed and looked away, hiding his face. “You really like embarrassing people,” he said, trying to put some anger in his voice, but the smile on his lips betrayed him.
“You’re slightly wrong.” Seiji-kun leaned in. “I like to embarrass you,” he whispered on the teacher’s ear and then kissed Yuuto on the lips. “Thank you for being here for me, Yuuto,” he said when their lips parted.
It was brief, but the teacher still felt Seiji-kun’ mouth. To kiss the one you’re in love with, he though while touching his own smiling lips. Suddenly something else occurred to him. He beamed and turned to Seiji-kun.
“What?” Seiji-kun asked in a wary voice.
“It’s the first time you call me by my name.”
“No… It can’t be…” The artist tilted his head, puzzled. “I’m sure I’ve call your name before.”
“No,” Yuuto answered almost right away. “You normally use my muse, you, or even Yuuno, but never my name.” It didn’t bothered him at all, but seeing Seiji-kun’ face puzzled was cute enough.
Seiji-kun closed his eyes, shook his head and took a deep breath. He opened them and leaned in again. “Yuuto,” he whispered on the teacher’s ear. “Yuuto,” he said again. “Yuuto, Yuuto, Yuuto.”
The teacher pushed Seiji-kun, his face an alarming shade of red. I never thought it would be this embarrassing! How can he even make my name embarrasses me? Yuuto puffed, trying to recover some color. When he looked up, Seiji-kun was still smiling.
After leaving the flowers on the Amane family grave, they headed back to the limo. When the driver saw them, he bowed, opened the door and waited for them to get in. After he closed it, he quickly went to his seat and the limo was moving in less than a minute.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” Yuuto said when he remembered. It was in the back of his mind since last night, but there was no right time to ask. “Why did you lied about our first night? We could’ve be together longer…”
Seiji-kun looked away, his cheeks red. “I…” he opened and closed his mouth several times. He breathed out forcefully. “I thought you might think it was too much… that you might back off…” he trailed off. Yuuto stared his eyes, smiling. “I was afraid?”
Yuuto laughed. “Because of that, we many nights together.” The teacher got closer. “We could’ve done a lot,” he whispered in the artist ear.
Seiji-kun blushed. “Oh yeah. There’s one thing I forgot to tell your parents,” he said.
Yuuto pulled away, tilting his head. “What?”
“I’m gonna start making you happy the moment we get back.” The sly smile came in full.
Yuuto immediately understood what he meant and reacted, his cheeks reddening. But instead of looking away, he stared into Seiji-kun’ eyes and then closed his own. He leaned closer and his lips met the artist’s. It was different from earlier. It was a longer and full of the love he wanted to transmit.
Seiji-kun returned the kiss, but after a while he parted their lips. He stared Yuuto and slowly his eyes closed and his head rested on the teacher’s shoulder. Only they Yuuto realized it; Seiji-kun was exhausted.
Yuuto smiled and held Seiji-kun’ hand, feeling the warm coming from him.
He thought Seiji-kun was already sleeping, but suddenly the artist entwined their fingers. Yuuto widened his eyes for a second and then rested his head on Seiji-kun as well.
“Yuuto,” Seiji-kun said in a low voice. “I love you.”
The teacher beamed. “I know.” And they fell asleep with their fingers entwined.